Still crunchy… but softer (pt. 4)
When I look back on the journey that brought me here, I see a lot of striving — for better, cleaner, purer, more. I thought living a “crunchy” lifestyle meant I was doing the best for myself and my family, and for a long time, that was true. But over time, the pursuit of better turned into pressure. It became another measure of worth.
Now, I’m still crunchy… but softer.
To me, that means I do the best I can in each moment — without the guilt that used to follow me around like a shadow. Some days, that looks like buying organic carrots and cooking a beautiful homemade meal. Other days, it looks like grabbing the cheaper version or swinging through the McDonald’s drive-thru for chicken McNuggets (with barbecue sauce, obviously). I used to feel so much shame about that — like I had failed some invisible test. Now, I can laugh about it. I can enjoy it. It is what it is, and I truly mean that.
There are parts of the crunchy lifestyle I’ll probably always hold close. I still love and use Young Living — just not with the intensity I once did. The cleaner, certain essential oils, and supplements remain staples in my home. And I’ll admit, I don’t compromise on laundry detergent. That one feels non-negotiable because I know the impact it can have on health and wellbeing. But the difference now is that I make these choices from a place of peace, not pressure.
The biggest shift has been letting go of the “one way is the only way” mentality. For so long, I believed that only one brand, one method, or one standard was good enough. It took time — and a lot of self-reflection — to realize that mindset wasn’t serving me anymore. I’ve allowed myself to try other products without shame. And guess what? There are plenty of great options out there. Releasing that all-or-nothing thinking gave me room to breathe again.
This softer approach has changed more than just the products I use — it’s changed my heart. I can see now how judgment had quietly crept in, convincing me that my way was the better way. It’s uncomfortable to admit, but necessary. I don’t want to live from that place anymore. My husband and I have had honest conversations about it, and I can finally understand his perspective in a way I couldn’t before. I was so convinced of being “right” that I couldn’t hear him — and that’s not the wife, or the person, I want to be.
If someone reading this is feeling stuck in that same cycle, here’s what I want you to know: grace is freedom. Even a small amount of it — the kind you extend to yourself when you make a different choice, or when things don’t go perfectly — will start to change everything. It’s like loosening a tight grip on your own expectations. With time, you realize that balance was closer than you thought.
Small acts of grace add up to big change. Funny enough, that’s something I used to say about switching to a non-toxic lifestyle — but it fits just as well here. Your peace is worth reaching for. Free from guilt, free from shame. It’s better here, I promise.
Finding this softer space has been both humbling and freeing. I no longer need to prove that I’m doing everything “right” — I just want to do what feels right for my family, my faith, and my peace. Somewhere between the crunchy ideals and the grace I’ve learned to extend to myself, I’ve found a balance that feels sustainable and kind.
I don’t know exactly what comes next — and that’s the beauty of it. The goal isn’t perfection anymore; it’s presence. To keep growing, learning, and showing up as a little more grounded, a little more grateful, and maybe just a little softer, too.